.and then some….

We forget sometimes that nothing in the world is created with out a purpouse.

Without an intent.

So much of what we do can seem like a random cascade of happenstance and situational luck.

But God sits above all.

And he will not be moved.

CLICK ON IMAGE TO VIEW

Have you ever really thought about what attracts you to a person?

I mean internally…what qualities….what patterns…

For me its a kind of immovablilty…Peace…Resting Joy….unaffected by the torent of the storm.

not indifferent, but self contained. Surrendered. At rest . Kind. not easily pushed aside by the schemes of ambition.

Fearless.

IF we become what we behold, then let me look at the one who is immoveable.

Forever.

Let me sit with Him before the sea of glass and be at peace.

CLICK ON IMAGE TO VEIW

So i am sitting here…
again…
Not employed…yeah, thats right..what?
Yeah i got canned.
Again.
Arent you disappointed that i dont fit the establishment?
perhaps im a failure…boo hoo….
You know the truth is I feel a sense of relief.
That place sucked the life out of most.
Im not a failure. I just have special needs…pick me up in the short bus please..
i promise not to lick the windows this time….

Ill tell you what….maybe this time Ill actually listen….

and follow what Gods voice says….

and not chase something that kills my Spirit..

or yells over His..

Does anyone else have the "place" that they try to get to.

The place that you have been…

where you seem to be able to walk on air….

and accomplish all things…

any direction you look is yours for the walking…and success isnt a factor…

its assured as a side note…

the echo  is above and in us..

and all around us ….

faintly screaming …

with a voice more vast that all that is…

 you can hear the whispers of eternity.. 

 words make it dimmer….

but listen…the voices of the prophets call in echos of eternity…

they say in wordless screams…in phrases of layered meaning

follow me….

 and they run after One.

after eternity…

 Echos of eternity..

the meaning lost in the bustle of pursuit and security…

please…let me catch a glimpse …

so i can ask for more

and someday 

fly

away from the pursuit of self

and meaning

“let me catch a glimpse!!!” i plead into the night …

and it echos into silence…

 i love you she says…..and i am thankful..

she speaks good over me like a lover

and a friend

she sees me…

clearer that some

maybe more than most…

the good she sees… reflected..

and a mystery…

it makes her draw colser with love and curiosity in her eyes

and a slight smile….

i watch her sometimes..

she doesnt know it

i cant see her after all….

and i see a hope in her

and a childlike faith

an optimism that spreads joy like a fountain

and i pray

that it would stay

some would rob it

some would cloud it for jealousys sake

the world would say its childish

the wise would say its a gift….

some would posses it

and not know the gift they have in their unwilling hands

i pray

that it makes it

whole and still trusting

willing and wide eyed …wiser

with the wisdom to still be a child

so i can let it drench me

and pour what love i have been given into it

 and bask in its light

for just

one more day

i get weirded out sometimes…

i sense the power of destiny and choice..

and it makes my choices seem overwhelming….

it is, i think why the 828 principle is so important to me…

because i let fear get to me sometimes…

but the thing i forget

is that there is an infinity of choices spirialing off in any direction…

i dont need to fear…

infact, i  coulnd see the infinite posiblility of my life…

i would probably run around dancing and shouting all the time…

which would be disconcerning to some…exciting to others…yes i would be clothed.

i think

so i guess i would pray that God would let me live a continual epiphany of His grace and of posibility…

and at the same time enter the rest of Jesus Christ.

dancing at the crossroads…

what a foriegn thought to most of us….

the encourragement of God…..

simply put…

speaking from the male perspective, you dont “need” your wife to survive (some are disagreeing)

but

when she looks at you

and loves you

and sees the Good in you

and speaks blessings over you…

“You are a wonderful man”

“I love you”

“Thank you for trying so hard… you mean the world to us”

this is worship

the essence of it…..

so why would we be amazed that we…the objects of His love…could touch the heart of our lover

and encourage Him..to keep going…to take heart…to remind HIm of who He is and that we see how wonderful he is.. and that His enemies are jealous liars.. and in the end they will all perish.. and only He will remain…

would it suprise us that our Gods heart is open to us…

and that we can strenghten Him…

no He doesnt “need” us… but He loves us…

so lets love Him …

i wonder what would happen…if all of us around the world..chose one thing that we see and began speaking it aloud over God….i wonder

I am facinated by Aaron and David.

The bible ones

I am facinated by their significance in the reestablishment of Gods love and kingdom

not because of their lives though

for me its because both of thier ministries are based on acts of unbelief and selfishness.

Hub ub ub ub….i feel the feathers ruffling…..

Aarons ministry… a result of Moses’ unbelief… and it became the levitical priest hood.. and an image of Christ.

Davids Ministry…a result of Israels rejection of God and demand that they look like souroundhing nations…and His throne is the eternal throne….The Risen King will sit on the throne of David….not to mention the pslams…

I am facinated my Romans 8:28

that God works all things together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Something to ponder in the light of our own “mistakes”

I am also amazed at the tenacity of our God. And the faith. Who else would keep going. Who else but Him.

Who else would continue showing love and encouragement and generocity and allowing himself to be overlooked and mistreated and overlooked…but our God….

we are in this together with Him and i for one couldnt choose someone more amazing…more dedicated….more full of love and life…willing to stay open and kind to those who blame thier own mistakes on Him.

we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses…and by the love of a God who does not fail. and we will not fail .

lets encourage God… lets remind Him that what He does is seen and that we love Him. Lets love the 3 that are selfless to eachother and in doing so complete and support eachother….and lets remind the God of the Ages that His desire.. for the 4 to become one will happen and that it is Good.

on account of the ob -satckles
Current mood: determined

Keep going….

I woke up this morning and i flipped through the My Spcae pages of friends that i have had…. and i see in them the community that i long for…..

i went chasing after something…freedom and i didnt know how to find it

but i went anyway and i wonder now of what i was looking for was there in front of me….

but.. i lack the resources to get back…

so maybe i keep going

and belive that in the end.. this will have been the right choice to take the long way… or what ever this way is… the way of isolation and wondering what the hell your doing out here..

i catch glipses of something and it gives me hope..

nah …Jesus gives me hope…

i used to wax eloquent about the high things of God…..

now i would give anything to be able to live in..whats the catchphrase…

oh yeah

COMMUNITY

which just means you have looked around and found people

and decided….ok

and you put your efforts and social skills to work trying to bring deeper bonds and finding ways to get into peoples hearts and let what ever measure of love God gave you bring healing to the hidden places….

and you let them love you back..

and most improtatly for me, when they let you down..overlook you…misuse your kindness..you dont shut them out and black list them….you stay open.. and keep trying…not as a door mat…but as one who knowingly chooses forgiveness and the principle of the cross…(asks God for wisdom in this)

so if anyone is reading this….i am one who left…who did what you have thought about …looked for that elusive thing….chased a sense of self and reality in Christ…..and ill tell you a secret….there are a couple ways to get there….dont fret…your identity will come..if you seek him.. and dont look for it in the people around you…that is not community..its co dependence….the best community comes from people who CHOOSE ……

choose to pursue and love…tolay down thier RIGHTS..(which are, i have discovered legitimate… you have been given your life… and NO ONE can tell you how to live it… God gave you this right.. and he will not revoke it…not taught in traditional churches…you have not but a life of obligation and penance and maybe if your good enough.. God will choose you for “something significant”…rubish)

the sense of self

is not an ungodly idea

it must be possesed

in order to be given away

you must know who you are

and know

that you have the right

NOT to give it away…

and that God will even continue to love and bless you….

I have been called all sorts of things and told how to live by all sorts of people who were supposed to know something..

and i discovered that they didnt really know anything more that the rest of us….

the only thing they did know(in somecases) was that God loved them.. and that although they didnt really know where they were going(some would like you to think that they do but they dont) they had decided to trust God and keep Going believeing two things……

God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to HIs purpouse……(means your atleast trying)

and

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask

” But if any of you lack wisdom, you should pray to God, who will give it to you; because God gives generously and graciously to all. But when you pray, you must believe and not doubt at all. Whoever doubts is like a wave in the sea that is driven and blown about by the wind. If you are like that, unable to make up your mind and undecided in all you do, you must not think that you will receive anything from the Lord. ” james

That is why we must hold on all the more firmly to the truths we have heard, so that we will not be carried away. ..hebrews 1

Let us go forward, then, to mature teaching and leave behind us the first lessons of the Christian message. We should not lay again the foundation of turning away from useless works and believing in God; of the teaching about baptisms and the laying on of hands; of the resurrection of the dead and the eternal judgment. Let us go forward! And this is what we will do, if God allows. hebrew 6

When God made his promise to Abraham, he made a vow to do what he had promised. Since there was no one greater than himself, he used his own name when he made his vow. He said, “I promise you that I will bless you and give you many descendants.” Abraham was patient, and so he received what God had promised. hebrews 6

To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.

I am certain that God is who he says he is and he doesnt lie.

He will not abandon those who try to find him

who keep going and asking….

So lets keep going…